My personal experience is that you "grow" into sobriety. In other words, as you learn, understand and practice recovery behaviors you become less likely to engage in alternative addictions. The "happy, joyous and free" tends to look more like contentment. Walking the walk, instead of talking the talk means I actually practice my recovery behaviors. I am not perfect at it, by a long shot, but I am content.
Thank you so much for this explanation. My (sober) spouse likes to call exercise a “positive addiction,” which, ok, but your perspective pivot is helpful.
I really appreciate how you tackled this! When I hear this brought up in recovery meetings (or in my own head), it usually has a tinge of hopelessness to it. So I love how you've shown this dose of reality doesn't have to hurt, and you don't have to feel like an aberration when dopamine is (necessarily) running the show. Thank you for this!
I connected to this: "there’s a real freedom in knowing what to watch for when it comes to disordered behavior or substance use."
I find that since I've stopped drinking I can more easily identify my problematic behaviours. I'm not perfect at it, but it's been a real eye-opener. And a good avenue to stay connected to myself.
In the 37 years I've been sober in AA, I have been told I'm in a cult; asked if I still need to go to those meetings; asked if I'm any fun anymore; told that I've substituted one addiction for another. What I've learned is that people neither understand what AA is, or does; OR they're terribly afraid they would need to stop drinking. That was me when a family member mentioned she was sober and I then avoided her for 8 months until I crawled into AA completely beaten.
I am one of the people who believes that sobriety means no mind altering substances (alcohol, cocaine, heroin, opiates of any sort for recreational use). I also believe that taking medicine including opiates under medical supervision for extreme pain and for a limited time is appropriate. Taking medication for various mental illness is appropriate. I am not one of those "recovered alcoholics" who doesn't believe in taking any medication at all. That's just stupid.
Compulsive eating disorders are a difficult recovery process because people need to eat. Learning to control consumption is challenging but more effective in the long run than quick fixes like Ozempic; in cases of extreme morbid obesity, weight loss surgery works IF the patient learns and develops healthy eating habits. Otherwise, the likelihood of gaining all the weight back is high.
Meditation provides more benefits than most people really understand - lowered blood-pressure, fewer volatile reactions to stress, enhanced positive responses to others.
But I've never understood replacement addictions. A person either is, or isn't an addict. If you are addicted to substances like alcohol, the only effective treatment I have found is AA. If you're addicted to drugs, then I believe NA would be the best route. I don't really know about NA, though, because I wasn't a drug addict and I don't have a first hand understanding of what that's like. I do know that I used to drink when I didn't want to, and now I don't drink even if I do want to. Alcohol holds no appeal for me, but I'm not foolish enough to think I am cured of that addiction.
Do I gamble? About once every two or three years. Do I binge eat? Yes, but I also know how to eat in a healthy manner and I am well aware that I have a lazy attitude about food. I quit smoking 10 years before I got sober, and can't be around cigarette smoke anymore. I stopped using coke about 5 years before I got sober; stopped smoking weed about 6 months before I got sober.
I had breast surgery for a pre-cancerous lump during Covid and was prescribed 5 pain pills, I forget what they were. I used 1 and was able to return the other 4 to the pharmacy for them to dispose of. Advil worked fine. I take medication for bipolar disorder.
I hope this is helpful. It's my way of saying that my life today is so much better than my wildest dreams ever were because I got sober and stay that way through the 12 steps and traditions of AA.
People who self-medicate(d) should not feel embarrassed or ashamed about their addiction(s). Yet, addictions and addicts are still largely perceived by sober society as being products of weak willpower and/or moral crime. At the same time, pharmaceutical corporations have intentionally pushed their own very addictive and profitable opiate resulting in immense suffering and overdose death numbers — indeed, the real moral crime! — and got off relatively lightly and only through civil litigation!
A very long time ago, I, while sympathetic, would look down on those who had ‘allowed’ themselves to become addicted to hard drugs or alcohol. Although I’ve not been personally or familially affected by the opioid overdose crisis, I suffer enough unrelenting PTSD symptoms (etcetera) to know, enjoy and appreciate the great release by consuming alcohol or THC. ...
Typically, societally overlooked is that intense addiction usually doesn’t originate from a bout of boredom, where a person consumed recreationally but became heavily hooked on a (self)medicating substance that eventually destroyed their life and even those of loved-ones.
The unfortunate fact about self-medicating is: the greater the induced euphoria or escape one attains from it, the more one wants to repeat the experience; and the more intolerable one finds their non-self-medicating reality, the more pleasurable that escape will likely be perceived. In other words: the greater one’s mental pain or trauma while not self-medicating, the greater the need for escape from one's reality — all the more addictive the euphoric escape-form will likely be.
Societally neglecting, rejecting and therefore failing people struggling with crippling addiction should never be an acceptable or preferable political, economic or religious/morality option. They definitely should not be consciously or subconsciously perceived by sober society as somehow being disposable. But the more callous politics that are typically involved with lacking addiction funding/services tend to reflect conservative electorate and representatives’ opposition, however irrational, against making proper treatment available to low- and no-income addicts, including safe(r) drugs.
Too often the worth(lessness) of the substance abuser is measured basically by their ‘productivity’ or lack thereof. They may then begin perceiving themselves as worthless and accordingly live and self-medicate their daily lives more haphazardly. (Not surprising, many chronically addicted people won’t miss this world if they never wake up.) Especially when the substance abuse is due to past formidable mental trauma, the lasting solitarily-suffered turmoil can readily make each day an ordeal unless the traumatized mind is medicated.
My personal experience is that you "grow" into sobriety. In other words, as you learn, understand and practice recovery behaviors you become less likely to engage in alternative addictions. The "happy, joyous and free" tends to look more like contentment. Walking the walk, instead of talking the talk means I actually practice my recovery behaviors. I am not perfect at it, by a long shot, but I am content.
Absolutely
Thank you so much for this explanation. My (sober) spouse likes to call exercise a “positive addiction,” which, ok, but your perspective pivot is helpful.
I’m so glad!
I really appreciate how you tackled this! When I hear this brought up in recovery meetings (or in my own head), it usually has a tinge of hopelessness to it. So I love how you've shown this dose of reality doesn't have to hurt, and you don't have to feel like an aberration when dopamine is (necessarily) running the show. Thank you for this!
thank you!
Quite late to the party; catching up on emails.
Thank you for your ever thoughtful replies!
I connected to this: "there’s a real freedom in knowing what to watch for when it comes to disordered behavior or substance use."
I find that since I've stopped drinking I can more easily identify my problematic behaviours. I'm not perfect at it, but it's been a real eye-opener. And a good avenue to stay connected to myself.
Yes! It’s so helpful to have a framework for thinking about habits/behaviors/whatever that’s both tangible and based on the person’s experience
In the 37 years I've been sober in AA, I have been told I'm in a cult; asked if I still need to go to those meetings; asked if I'm any fun anymore; told that I've substituted one addiction for another. What I've learned is that people neither understand what AA is, or does; OR they're terribly afraid they would need to stop drinking. That was me when a family member mentioned she was sober and I then avoided her for 8 months until I crawled into AA completely beaten.
I am one of the people who believes that sobriety means no mind altering substances (alcohol, cocaine, heroin, opiates of any sort for recreational use). I also believe that taking medicine including opiates under medical supervision for extreme pain and for a limited time is appropriate. Taking medication for various mental illness is appropriate. I am not one of those "recovered alcoholics" who doesn't believe in taking any medication at all. That's just stupid.
Compulsive eating disorders are a difficult recovery process because people need to eat. Learning to control consumption is challenging but more effective in the long run than quick fixes like Ozempic; in cases of extreme morbid obesity, weight loss surgery works IF the patient learns and develops healthy eating habits. Otherwise, the likelihood of gaining all the weight back is high.
Meditation provides more benefits than most people really understand - lowered blood-pressure, fewer volatile reactions to stress, enhanced positive responses to others.
But I've never understood replacement addictions. A person either is, or isn't an addict. If you are addicted to substances like alcohol, the only effective treatment I have found is AA. If you're addicted to drugs, then I believe NA would be the best route. I don't really know about NA, though, because I wasn't a drug addict and I don't have a first hand understanding of what that's like. I do know that I used to drink when I didn't want to, and now I don't drink even if I do want to. Alcohol holds no appeal for me, but I'm not foolish enough to think I am cured of that addiction.
Do I gamble? About once every two or three years. Do I binge eat? Yes, but I also know how to eat in a healthy manner and I am well aware that I have a lazy attitude about food. I quit smoking 10 years before I got sober, and can't be around cigarette smoke anymore. I stopped using coke about 5 years before I got sober; stopped smoking weed about 6 months before I got sober.
I had breast surgery for a pre-cancerous lump during Covid and was prescribed 5 pain pills, I forget what they were. I used 1 and was able to return the other 4 to the pharmacy for them to dispose of. Advil worked fine. I take medication for bipolar disorder.
I hope this is helpful. It's my way of saying that my life today is so much better than my wildest dreams ever were because I got sober and stay that way through the 12 steps and traditions of AA.
People who self-medicate(d) should not feel embarrassed or ashamed about their addiction(s). Yet, addictions and addicts are still largely perceived by sober society as being products of weak willpower and/or moral crime. At the same time, pharmaceutical corporations have intentionally pushed their own very addictive and profitable opiate resulting in immense suffering and overdose death numbers — indeed, the real moral crime! — and got off relatively lightly and only through civil litigation!
A very long time ago, I, while sympathetic, would look down on those who had ‘allowed’ themselves to become addicted to hard drugs or alcohol. Although I’ve not been personally or familially affected by the opioid overdose crisis, I suffer enough unrelenting PTSD symptoms (etcetera) to know, enjoy and appreciate the great release by consuming alcohol or THC. ...
Typically, societally overlooked is that intense addiction usually doesn’t originate from a bout of boredom, where a person consumed recreationally but became heavily hooked on a (self)medicating substance that eventually destroyed their life and even those of loved-ones.
The unfortunate fact about self-medicating is: the greater the induced euphoria or escape one attains from it, the more one wants to repeat the experience; and the more intolerable one finds their non-self-medicating reality, the more pleasurable that escape will likely be perceived. In other words: the greater one’s mental pain or trauma while not self-medicating, the greater the need for escape from one's reality — all the more addictive the euphoric escape-form will likely be.
Societally neglecting, rejecting and therefore failing people struggling with crippling addiction should never be an acceptable or preferable political, economic or religious/morality option. They definitely should not be consciously or subconsciously perceived by sober society as somehow being disposable. But the more callous politics that are typically involved with lacking addiction funding/services tend to reflect conservative electorate and representatives’ opposition, however irrational, against making proper treatment available to low- and no-income addicts, including safe(r) drugs.
Too often the worth(lessness) of the substance abuser is measured basically by their ‘productivity’ or lack thereof. They may then begin perceiving themselves as worthless and accordingly live and self-medicate their daily lives more haphazardly. (Not surprising, many chronically addicted people won’t miss this world if they never wake up.) Especially when the substance abuse is due to past formidable mental trauma, the lasting solitarily-suffered turmoil can readily make each day an ordeal unless the traumatized mind is medicated.