I agree with every word you wrote, and I have always found it surprising to hear of programs that have recovering addicts cycle through the 12 steps in 90 days. My first time through the steps took about three years. My understanding and practice of the 9th step is one focused on making amends, meaning actively correcting mistakes and my behavior. The impulse to make the amends too soon and in some dramatic way, in my opinion, is just a symptom of the self-centered nature of addiction.
The "I'm sorry" part is meaningless if I have not done the work to change my behavior. It does more harm for the relationship if I fall back on old behaviors...not to mention what it teaches that person about "all addicts." I think about the harm I could do to others who are also on this journey.
This is such a fascinating reflection on amends — when and how to do them. Frankly, I wish there were programs outside of AA teaching this concept more widely, because plenty of folks who don’t experience addiction wrong people in terrible ways and don’t understand how to make amends.
I think Langdon's approach was realistic. That's not to say it was good—it wasn't—but as you said, it's not uncommon for people in early recovery. I also think it was true to the character's personality.
I suspect that the people who didn't like Robby's response aren't in recovery and/or have never been on the receiving end of an active addict's behavior. Added to that is the fact that Robby is his boss and Langdon literally had people's lives in his hands while using. That isn't an amends to make under the roar of an approaching helicopter!
Agree, not sure why they thought this was a good look for recovery, but I have know people in recovery doing just that, taking everyone that they were “really sorry” and coming across as phony. Though I thought Dr. Robby saying he doesn’t want him in his ED was perfect.
omg what did you think of the Dr King apology!? twitter loooovveeedd it but he lied to her! it drove me nuts for weeks. How have you been finding the online discourse re: Langdon?
lots of addicts and alcoholics in my family. i feel Langdon’s probably the best written heavy arc (in comparison to Santos and her trauma, Dana and burnout, Robby and… whatever they’re trying to do with depression). It’s very realistic - I am assuming down to advocacy from the actor playing him. The flipping on a dime in S1 is exactly what my Dad was like. Dad is also capable of incredible kindness, something people miss when they focus in on his drinking (the show does well teasing this dynamic out with characters like Becca and Dr King vs Santos).
I told my friend I was watching with that Langdon made amends just like someone without a sponsor. Self-will run riot in the awkward urgency of it. It cracked me up because I’ve seen so many people do this.
What I wish people would reflect on is the very intentional use of the word “amends” in recovery literature — we don’t “make apologies wherever possible” we repair what we’ve damaged and change our behavior. TBD whether Langdon actually does.
Master Class, Katie, on the intricacies of the Twelve Step process, woven into this fascinating series ... I have loved The Pitt so far and having your analysis of this part adds yet another intriguing layer to what is already a VERY layered "real life" drama.
I was a bit skeptical as I started The Pitt after loving "New Amsterdam", how could another medical drama be any better, but it actually takes "NA" a step further ... with such real and graphic ER scenes. Early on, I wondered if it was just capitalizing on blood and guts, but over time, it's clear how instructive it is on so many levels (medical, social, psychological, metaphorical, theoretical, educational, etc.).
Great, great essay integrating Twelve Steps in practice, the ideal vs. the real.
Loved this, agree on everything… have you seen Industry? Very different show but there’s a character who similarly goes from addiction to recovery in between S1 and S2 and is similarly very bad at the amends thing
... as in whiskey, tango, foxtrot! All 12th steps in 90 days?? Like I told my doctor when he suggested giving up coffee (caffeine) that's just crazy talk! My group told me 90 meetings in 90 days, which was needed in my case to get stable in my recovery early days.
In my world, I only had 1 amend to make: the wife. I didn't handle it wisely (understatement) but she was on her way to ex-wife wife status, so... so there we have it.
Katie, your words are a breath of fresh/real air. Thank you for writing.
Wow, love this posting, Katie. Making amends is not just for addiction recovery, it's also for so many other sticky situations. You do a fantastic job of sussing out the process. Thanks.
Gahhhh I also found it SO RELATABLE how Langdon is visibly itching to relieve himself of his irritability, self-pity, and discontent. I was like, “yep, been there!” And that’s the thing, right? We understand because we’ve been there. If we’re being honest, we know how it feels to just want to get it over with already! Why am I not feeling better already damnit?!? I want those promises NOW! But as you wisely pointed out, we can’t hurry our way through of this. Painstakingly does not mean as fast as possible. It means (according to ‘ole Merriam-Webster) careful, patient, attentive, diligent, and if this isn’t a god wink I don’t know what is - faithful. Keep going, Langdon. We’re rooting for ya. Especially when you have to do all those amends again in the future. 😉🙏🏼❤️
Interesting piece. Historically, back when this was in it's infancy, all the steps were taken quickly.
The word amend means to make right by change. I relate to Langdon's need to apologize as fast as he can, god knows I did it. But with almost 38 years in hindsight, I know that need to scream I'm Sorry from the top of a roof is more about waking up from a bad dream than changing.
Langdon is reeling still. He's apparently gone from rehab back to work; no clear indication he has a sponsor to guide him. Steps 8 and 9 are really sponsor steps, just as 4 and 5 are. His apology/amend to Robby is a start but it is only a start. Robby doesn't trust him. Langdon is at risk, and there's no guarantee he won't go back out. Robby's response to Langdon was harsh but real. Langdon, as a newbie in a high stress job, is at a critical point - does he dig deeper into recovery, or does he give up and dig deeper into addiction. Robby didn't welcome him with open arms, does Langdon pull a "who's the matter with me" and give up? Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink (or give me a pill). I think this first day back for Langdon is as truthful as it gets. I hope he chooses to stay clean.
I agree with every word you wrote, and I have always found it surprising to hear of programs that have recovering addicts cycle through the 12 steps in 90 days. My first time through the steps took about three years. My understanding and practice of the 9th step is one focused on making amends, meaning actively correcting mistakes and my behavior. The impulse to make the amends too soon and in some dramatic way, in my opinion, is just a symptom of the self-centered nature of addiction.
The "I'm sorry" part is meaningless if I have not done the work to change my behavior. It does more harm for the relationship if I fall back on old behaviors...not to mention what it teaches that person about "all addicts." I think about the harm I could do to others who are also on this journey.
So appreciate your writing. Thank you.
This is such a fascinating reflection on amends — when and how to do them. Frankly, I wish there were programs outside of AA teaching this concept more widely, because plenty of folks who don’t experience addiction wrong people in terrible ways and don’t understand how to make amends.
I was hoping you would write about this!
I think Langdon's approach was realistic. That's not to say it was good—it wasn't—but as you said, it's not uncommon for people in early recovery. I also think it was true to the character's personality.
I suspect that the people who didn't like Robby's response aren't in recovery and/or have never been on the receiving end of an active addict's behavior. Added to that is the fact that Robby is his boss and Langdon literally had people's lives in his hands while using. That isn't an amends to make under the roar of an approaching helicopter!
Agree, not sure why they thought this was a good look for recovery, but I have know people in recovery doing just that, taking everyone that they were “really sorry” and coming across as phony. Though I thought Dr. Robby saying he doesn’t want him in his ED was perfect.
yeah, it's not a great depiction of how the step is "supposed" to be done, but it is an accurate depiction of how it's often done
omg what did you think of the Dr King apology!? twitter loooovveeedd it but he lied to her! it drove me nuts for weeks. How have you been finding the online discourse re: Langdon?
lots of addicts and alcoholics in my family. i feel Langdon’s probably the best written heavy arc (in comparison to Santos and her trauma, Dana and burnout, Robby and… whatever they’re trying to do with depression). It’s very realistic - I am assuming down to advocacy from the actor playing him. The flipping on a dime in S1 is exactly what my Dad was like. Dad is also capable of incredible kindness, something people miss when they focus in on his drinking (the show does well teasing this dynamic out with characters like Becca and Dr King vs Santos).
Honestly, I don’t even count it as a real apology!! But I’m going to do a full update after the season finale, so we’ll see! 👀
I told my friend I was watching with that Langdon made amends just like someone without a sponsor. Self-will run riot in the awkward urgency of it. It cracked me up because I’ve seen so many people do this.
What I wish people would reflect on is the very intentional use of the word “amends” in recovery literature — we don’t “make apologies wherever possible” we repair what we’ve damaged and change our behavior. TBD whether Langdon actually does.
💯
Master Class, Katie, on the intricacies of the Twelve Step process, woven into this fascinating series ... I have loved The Pitt so far and having your analysis of this part adds yet another intriguing layer to what is already a VERY layered "real life" drama.
I was a bit skeptical as I started The Pitt after loving "New Amsterdam", how could another medical drama be any better, but it actually takes "NA" a step further ... with such real and graphic ER scenes. Early on, I wondered if it was just capitalizing on blood and guts, but over time, it's clear how instructive it is on so many levels (medical, social, psychological, metaphorical, theoretical, educational, etc.).
Great, great essay integrating Twelve Steps in practice, the ideal vs. the real.
Loved this, agree on everything… have you seen Industry? Very different show but there’s a character who similarly goes from addiction to recovery in between S1 and S2 and is similarly very bad at the amends thing
I haven’t but I’ve heard good things! I’ll check it out
Whiskey!
.
.
... as in whiskey, tango, foxtrot! All 12th steps in 90 days?? Like I told my doctor when he suggested giving up coffee (caffeine) that's just crazy talk! My group told me 90 meetings in 90 days, which was needed in my case to get stable in my recovery early days.
In my world, I only had 1 amend to make: the wife. I didn't handle it wisely (understatement) but she was on her way to ex-wife wife status, so... so there we have it.
Katie, your words are a breath of fresh/real air. Thank you for writing.
Wow, love this posting, Katie. Making amends is not just for addiction recovery, it's also for so many other sticky situations. You do a fantastic job of sussing out the process. Thanks.
Gahhhh I also found it SO RELATABLE how Langdon is visibly itching to relieve himself of his irritability, self-pity, and discontent. I was like, “yep, been there!” And that’s the thing, right? We understand because we’ve been there. If we’re being honest, we know how it feels to just want to get it over with already! Why am I not feeling better already damnit?!? I want those promises NOW! But as you wisely pointed out, we can’t hurry our way through of this. Painstakingly does not mean as fast as possible. It means (according to ‘ole Merriam-Webster) careful, patient, attentive, diligent, and if this isn’t a god wink I don’t know what is - faithful. Keep going, Langdon. We’re rooting for ya. Especially when you have to do all those amends again in the future. 😉🙏🏼❤️
Yep, they didn’t get this right.
Doing a shift in a season…maybe they can get back to it in seasons 31-366.
Interesting piece. Historically, back when this was in it's infancy, all the steps were taken quickly.
The word amend means to make right by change. I relate to Langdon's need to apologize as fast as he can, god knows I did it. But with almost 38 years in hindsight, I know that need to scream I'm Sorry from the top of a roof is more about waking up from a bad dream than changing.
Langdon is reeling still. He's apparently gone from rehab back to work; no clear indication he has a sponsor to guide him. Steps 8 and 9 are really sponsor steps, just as 4 and 5 are. His apology/amend to Robby is a start but it is only a start. Robby doesn't trust him. Langdon is at risk, and there's no guarantee he won't go back out. Robby's response to Langdon was harsh but real. Langdon, as a newbie in a high stress job, is at a critical point - does he dig deeper into recovery, or does he give up and dig deeper into addiction. Robby didn't welcome him with open arms, does Langdon pull a "who's the matter with me" and give up? Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink (or give me a pill). I think this first day back for Langdon is as truthful as it gets. I hope he chooses to stay clean.