This is such a great read, Katie. The discovery that—surprise!!—you’re not an extrovert resonated with me. I talked with my college roommate recently about how I’m actually an introvert, despite being our sorority’s social chair (drinking + knowing a lot of guys = social chair) and being her hard-partying, post-college roommate. She was shocked. Sobriety lets us learn who we are and stop pretending to be what we think we’re supposed to be.
always a delightful and important read Katie. getting sober in Las Vegas presented a number of challenges, from free cocktails to 24 hr liquor stores with “convenient” shopping carts for those times when you can’t carry the large number of bottles in two hands.
it is hard to get and stay sober most anywhere, i suppose, but it can be done.
cheers to being in a different and much better place than our young minds imagined.
Great essay! It took me back to the "shaking hands" phase... near the end of my drinking days. Of course I always tried to come up with other excuses for the "shakes," but now I know that it was obviously the alcohol. I gotta say, I'm a bit envious of your goat life:) After getting sober, I mustered up the courage to ask the owners of a small farm (down the street) if I could spend some time with their mini horse & goat during my walks. They gladly said yes and even gave me options for feeding them safe treats. Now visiting Bingo (the mini horse) and Briar (the goat) is one of my favorite things. And to make things even better, Briar had 2 baby goats this spring. Cuteness overload! When I grow up (ha ha I'm 55 & recently retired from teaching) I want to have a great dane rescue (currently I have 2 fabulous great danes) or a goat farm or BOTH! :)
From a sober almost 2 years person, well said. The introvert vs extrovert thing is probably pretty common for many of us. Glad you figured it out early - I waited until I was in my 60s. Such a shameful waste.
This is fantastic. Imagine my surprise when after drinking in Chicago and drinking in NYC and drinking in Vegas and drinking in DC (not just drinking but drinking like a champion alcoholic, I discovered that I, too, am not an extrovert.
Here’s to goats and good things (cheers with lemonade).
I see so much of myself in this story Katie. Sober, drank my face off in NYC, now living in Seattle. Can I trade you a golden with horrible breath and a great personality for a goat? Thanks for inviting us into your peaceful world and I'm glad you're here to write it.
My boyfriend’s family is from Marin (the town of Fairfax). I could see it being a welcoming place for people becoming sober.
This post is so interesting because one of the first things you learn when you read any self-help or habit change books is that you need to create an environment to make change easier for you. For some, cities would be a better environment because they may live with roommates who can see your struggles, better access to support groups, etc.
I feel this idea--that we aren't going to necessarily be who we picture ourselves to be--so much as a person with a toddler who always knew I'd be a good parent if I decided to have a kid but never thought that I'd *enjoy* it as much as I do or find as much delight in it on a daily basis as I have.
Also, speaking of people having different triggers, I was chatting with a photographer acquaintance the other day who is many years' sober and we got on the topic of NA beers and how much they taste like actual beer nowadays and she was saying they taste so much like beer that it's triggering for her--and then she laughed and said, "I love it."
gosh how much i love this post for so many reasons. YES to recovery actually being about… ~recovering~ something we lost (a truer sense of who we are).
This is such a great read, Katie. The discovery that—surprise!!—you’re not an extrovert resonated with me. I talked with my college roommate recently about how I’m actually an introvert, despite being our sorority’s social chair (drinking + knowing a lot of guys = social chair) and being her hard-partying, post-college roommate. She was shocked. Sobriety lets us learn who we are and stop pretending to be what we think we’re supposed to be.
always a delightful and important read Katie. getting sober in Las Vegas presented a number of challenges, from free cocktails to 24 hr liquor stores with “convenient” shopping carts for those times when you can’t carry the large number of bottles in two hands.
it is hard to get and stay sober most anywhere, i suppose, but it can be done.
cheers to being in a different and much better place than our young minds imagined.
oh man, Vegas would be tough for me too. But you’re proof that it’s possible!
Great essay! It took me back to the "shaking hands" phase... near the end of my drinking days. Of course I always tried to come up with other excuses for the "shakes," but now I know that it was obviously the alcohol. I gotta say, I'm a bit envious of your goat life:) After getting sober, I mustered up the courage to ask the owners of a small farm (down the street) if I could spend some time with their mini horse & goat during my walks. They gladly said yes and even gave me options for feeding them safe treats. Now visiting Bingo (the mini horse) and Briar (the goat) is one of my favorite things. And to make things even better, Briar had 2 baby goats this spring. Cuteness overload! When I grow up (ha ha I'm 55 & recently retired from teaching) I want to have a great dane rescue (currently I have 2 fabulous great danes) or a goat farm or BOTH! :)
aww, i love that! animals are so healing. i hope you end up with the great dane rescue AND the goat farm ;)
"Goatlandia" -- love it!!! Thanks for the essay. I'm glad to support your Substack.
❤️❤️
From a sober almost 2 years person, well said. The introvert vs extrovert thing is probably pretty common for many of us. Glad you figured it out early - I waited until I was in my 60s. Such a shameful waste.
Hey it takes what it takes ❤️
This is fantastic. Imagine my surprise when after drinking in Chicago and drinking in NYC and drinking in Vegas and drinking in DC (not just drinking but drinking like a champion alcoholic, I discovered that I, too, am not an extrovert.
Here’s to goats and good things (cheers with lemonade).
I see so much of myself in this story Katie. Sober, drank my face off in NYC, now living in Seattle. Can I trade you a golden with horrible breath and a great personality for a goat? Thanks for inviting us into your peaceful world and I'm glad you're here to write it.
Honestly, I'd take that deal, but you'd be getting the worst end of the bargain! Goats are great but they're no golden. Thanks for the kind words <3
My boyfriend’s family is from Marin (the town of Fairfax). I could see it being a welcoming place for people becoming sober.
This post is so interesting because one of the first things you learn when you read any self-help or habit change books is that you need to create an environment to make change easier for you. For some, cities would be a better environment because they may live with roommates who can see your struggles, better access to support groups, etc.
Fairfax is a great little town (and on the way to where I went to rehab)!
You’re right, environment is so important—and individual.
I feel this idea--that we aren't going to necessarily be who we picture ourselves to be--so much as a person with a toddler who always knew I'd be a good parent if I decided to have a kid but never thought that I'd *enjoy* it as much as I do or find as much delight in it on a daily basis as I have.
Also, speaking of people having different triggers, I was chatting with a photographer acquaintance the other day who is many years' sober and we got on the topic of NA beers and how much they taste like actual beer nowadays and she was saying they taste so much like beer that it's triggering for her--and then she laughed and said, "I love it."
This makes me so happy, Ilana ❤️. And that’s funny about your acquaintance. Different strokes!
To paraphrase a Dean Martin song "ain't that a kick in the head." Once the air clears after addiction, things look so different in the clean light.
gosh how much i love this post for so many reasons. YES to recovery actually being about… ~recovering~ something we lost (a truer sense of who we are).
You should come hang out next time you’re in town!
Lmk when that building collapses
The Met got legionnaires were onto new problems now
Fun!