I love seeing a nuanced take on this - thank you, Katie. I feel like there are lots of people who, like me and this letter writer, had a capital-P problem with one substance (for me, it was opiates, today I am over 10 years clean!) but are able to take or leave the rest. Others cannot. There's no "right" way - only what helps the individual get and stay healthy and alive.
I’m recovering from a cocaine addiction. I realized after many relapses that I needed to stop using alcohol because when I drank it lowered my inhibitions which always led me back to cocaine. This confirms the statement that it doesn’t matter how often you drink or the quantity you drink but rather the consequences of your drinking. The consequences for me were cocaine relapses. The relapses ceased when I eliminated alcohol. I am now 33 years clean and sober
I've been thinking about this vis-a-vis food since starting a GLP1. The first, and most dramatic thing I noticed was the absence of food noise, which I would describe as incessant internal hectoring to eat things/amounts I didn't consciously want. Turns out that's a biological quirk that can be fixed with a drug. I don't think compulsive eating caused me to ignore job or personal responsibilities; I never left a project undone to go binge at lunchtime.
What feels addictive to me, in retrospect, is not having control over my mind; being unable to shut off the constant goading, and how the exhaustion of constantly battling that meant my mind wasn't free for other pursuits. So not addiction in the sense laid out here, but a troubling and self-destructive process that curtailed my quality of life, because it was hard to find peace of mind while the food noise was present.
I said when I started, and I still stand by that, regardless of weight loss, I'd continue taking this drug bc it stops that chatter. I've lost about 25 pounds and, weirdly, I don't feel much different. I'd take it all back if it meant having my mind to myself.
Great piece, Katie. That situation with the nurse is absolutely insane, but unfortunately, it doesn't surprise me. I often find that people (even those in healthcare) feel that if you’re not using your "primary" substance, you’re somehow fine and can play around with others.
To me, it doesn't matter if it's cocaine, alcohol, or gambling. Once you lose the freedom to say "no" and your brain starts prioritizing the substance over your life, it’s serious. The gap between knowing what I should do and what I actually do is the same across all addictions. Thank you for reminding us that "I don't want to" is a good enough reason.
“It’s not about the quantity of alcohol you put away, or even how often you drink. … the list goes on.”
This! Maybe it’s a “guy thing,” but the emphasis on ‘quantity’ by so many of my male friends is simply misplaced. (“I drank two handles a day.” “I needed a fifth to get through my morning.” “I spilled more than you drank.”) It’s not helpful at all and potentially unhealthy for the person trying to get sober. Your focus on consequences of our substance use is right on.
I’ve gotten a lot of emails that say “my [loved one] drinks X amount per night, are they an alcoholic?” and the answer is always, “I don’t know, what happens after they drink? Or if they’re in a situation where they *can’t* drink…”
As a person with decades of experience with addiction to (and recovery from or moderation of) many substances and behaviors - I couldn't have said it better myself! ;-) Thanks!
my sobriety is like a whack-a- mole game. When I quit coke I also thought I could just drink - but when I drank I wanted coke - and then weed to come down and then some pill to deal with the next day... spin repeat.
Another great response, Katie. You likely wouldn't/shouldn't be surprised to see your commenters agree on your wise words.
Sadly, this topic touches on a truism I've gleaned from various meetings: no one really understands outside the "rooms." It's not an absolute truth, of course, but unless you're used to thinking about and discussing addiction matters, you're a human... who may just say dumb shit on the matter, often obliviously, but you say it.
I love seeing a nuanced take on this - thank you, Katie. I feel like there are lots of people who, like me and this letter writer, had a capital-P problem with one substance (for me, it was opiates, today I am over 10 years clean!) but are able to take or leave the rest. Others cannot. There's no "right" way - only what helps the individual get and stay healthy and alive.
Congratulations on 10 years! And thanks for the kind words ❤️
I’m recovering from a cocaine addiction. I realized after many relapses that I needed to stop using alcohol because when I drank it lowered my inhibitions which always led me back to cocaine. This confirms the statement that it doesn’t matter how often you drink or the quantity you drink but rather the consequences of your drinking. The consequences for me were cocaine relapses. The relapses ceased when I eliminated alcohol. I am now 33 years clean and sober
Congratulations on 33 years!
Me too Jeanne - when i'd do coke i wanted alcohol and vice versa. Huge congrats on the 33 years. I have 6 .... after many many relapses. x
Congratulations on 6 years!
I've been thinking about this vis-a-vis food since starting a GLP1. The first, and most dramatic thing I noticed was the absence of food noise, which I would describe as incessant internal hectoring to eat things/amounts I didn't consciously want. Turns out that's a biological quirk that can be fixed with a drug. I don't think compulsive eating caused me to ignore job or personal responsibilities; I never left a project undone to go binge at lunchtime.
What feels addictive to me, in retrospect, is not having control over my mind; being unable to shut off the constant goading, and how the exhaustion of constantly battling that meant my mind wasn't free for other pursuits. So not addiction in the sense laid out here, but a troubling and self-destructive process that curtailed my quality of life, because it was hard to find peace of mind while the food noise was present.
I said when I started, and I still stand by that, regardless of weight loss, I'd continue taking this drug bc it stops that chatter. I've lost about 25 pounds and, weirdly, I don't feel much different. I'd take it all back if it meant having my mind to myself.
EXACTLY!!
Great piece, Katie. That situation with the nurse is absolutely insane, but unfortunately, it doesn't surprise me. I often find that people (even those in healthcare) feel that if you’re not using your "primary" substance, you’re somehow fine and can play around with others.
To me, it doesn't matter if it's cocaine, alcohol, or gambling. Once you lose the freedom to say "no" and your brain starts prioritizing the substance over your life, it’s serious. The gap between knowing what I should do and what I actually do is the same across all addictions. Thank you for reminding us that "I don't want to" is a good enough reason.
“It’s not about the quantity of alcohol you put away, or even how often you drink. … the list goes on.”
This! Maybe it’s a “guy thing,” but the emphasis on ‘quantity’ by so many of my male friends is simply misplaced. (“I drank two handles a day.” “I needed a fifth to get through my morning.” “I spilled more than you drank.”) It’s not helpful at all and potentially unhealthy for the person trying to get sober. Your focus on consequences of our substance use is right on.
I’ve gotten a lot of emails that say “my [loved one] drinks X amount per night, are they an alcoholic?” and the answer is always, “I don’t know, what happens after they drink? Or if they’re in a situation where they *can’t* drink…”
As a person with decades of experience with addiction to (and recovery from or moderation of) many substances and behaviors - I couldn't have said it better myself! ;-) Thanks!
my sobriety is like a whack-a- mole game. When I quit coke I also thought I could just drink - but when I drank I wanted coke - and then weed to come down and then some pill to deal with the next day... spin repeat.
Another great response, Katie. You likely wouldn't/shouldn't be surprised to see your commenters agree on your wise words.
Sadly, this topic touches on a truism I've gleaned from various meetings: no one really understands outside the "rooms." It's not an absolute truth, of course, but unless you're used to thinking about and discussing addiction matters, you're a human... who may just say dumb shit on the matter, often obliviously, but you say it.