In my 44 years of sobriety I've attended thousands of AA meetings. I've heard hundreds of stories similar to this one. My own story includes crashing into a parked vehicle destroying the car I was in. It was the prompt I needed to confront the reality of my destructive drinking. I was lucky. I simply hurt people who loved me instead of killing someone or going to jail. Amends? Yeah. Plus, there's nothing supernatural about people helping each other, which to me is the power in an organization like AA.
I was talking about this recently with a sober friend of mine who I've known since our 20s when we were drunken messes. Thirty years later, we are able to see that time in full, to marvel that we made it out, to regret that we made some choices, that we stacked up hurts like cordwood. There are so many nights I'd like to take back. I believe when you can't make amends to people, you can make amends to the world by strengthening another filament in this shared web we weave together.
Life is so…utterly random. I’ve been in a car accident that I caused. Fortunately, I was going slowly and hit a parked car with no one inside. My car was way more messed up than the other person’s, but I was physically fine. But it could have all been so much worse if I just happened to be going 15 miles faster or if someone else had been in the other vehicle. Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t make sense. We have to go on, regardless. Thanks for writing, Katie.
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In my 44 years of sobriety I've attended thousands of AA meetings. I've heard hundreds of stories similar to this one. My own story includes crashing into a parked vehicle destroying the car I was in. It was the prompt I needed to confront the reality of my destructive drinking. I was lucky. I simply hurt people who loved me instead of killing someone or going to jail. Amends? Yeah. Plus, there's nothing supernatural about people helping each other, which to me is the power in an organization like AA.
I was talking about this recently with a sober friend of mine who I've known since our 20s when we were drunken messes. Thirty years later, we are able to see that time in full, to marvel that we made it out, to regret that we made some choices, that we stacked up hurts like cordwood. There are so many nights I'd like to take back. I believe when you can't make amends to people, you can make amends to the world by strengthening another filament in this shared web we weave together.
I remember this accident, Katie. I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing. xoxo
thanks, edan <3
Life is so…utterly random. I’ve been in a car accident that I caused. Fortunately, I was going slowly and hit a parked car with no one inside. My car was way more messed up than the other person’s, but I was physically fine. But it could have all been so much worse if I just happened to be going 15 miles faster or if someone else had been in the other vehicle. Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t make sense. We have to go on, regardless. Thanks for writing, Katie.
I love your reference to the “but for the grace of god there go I” and your interpretation for agnostics.