"No one is immune to the desire to anesthetize" is pointed and real. I wish for us, as a culture, that we examined the questions around why someone is called to numb and dissociate and created models of support around that experience.
Even as a sober person, I still recognize these impulses in myself. When I have a lot going on, or consequential decisions weighing on me, I notice myself crushing a six pack of seltzer water. While not inherently dangerous like some of the former ways I coped, there is some part of me calling for care. Learning how to recognize and commune with that part not only impacts my health, but it's also how I am able to participate more fully in the vision of life I have for myself.
I couldn't stand the inexplicable braggadocio of those old decrepit AA dudes. We're here to stay sober, not brag about how much we used to drink to vulnerable new members who are navigating the awful early days of sobriety.
There has been a big push in the disability community to get people to recognize that disability isn’t always easily apparent (you might have seems signs saying “disability looks like this” followed by icons of peopel in wheelchairs but also icons of people standing and seeming apparently “healthy” even though they have a dsiability).
It’s a framework I’ve had to stress repeatedly to people who think who think because I am under the age of 40, I am fine, when I still experience issues every day from long covid (relate to having heart palpitations although mine is from too much caffeine now).
Anyway, it could be helpful to apply that framework from the disability community to people experiencing alcohol withdrawal. Thanks for sharing your story and the story of this woman who passed too early, Katie. Very sad.
Thanks for this Kate - you describe perfectly the smoke and mirrors we create to hide the truth. Also brilliantly and beautifully described by Caroline Knapp in her memoir Drinking: A Love Story.
When an old-timer tells a newcomer that he (it’s always a “he”) spilled more than she drank, she should tell him he could’ve gotten sober sooner if he hadn’t spilled so much.
I took my son to rehab/detox many times but quite often in the middle of it all, I would go buy him alcohol because of the risk of withdrawal. You cannot detox from alcohol alone—you need to be medically supervised.
At this time, he is 9 months sober and works in a detox center. He says it reminds him how awful it used to be and does not want to return to it. This story is heartbreaking because she probably thought she could do it on her own.
Actually you can detox on alcohol and people have done it for years but you have to know how to do it and be very careful, something people who are drinking are often not. You definitely need help.
During the decades I had an active eating disorder, nurses and other health care providers taking my weight, noting my low blood pressure or hearing my complaints about running injuries would compliment how fit I looked or how “I had nothing to worry about” when I asked not to see my weight.
In my experience, a lot of folks can be caught off guard by how quick the DTs can set in. She may have even run out of alcohol on her trip with no way to re-supply.
That’s definitely a possibility. I also wonder if she didn’t know how dangerous the DTs are and thought she might be able to power through them by heading out on an alcohol-free camping trip. Either way, it’s incredibly sad
Thanks for pointing of the reality that alcohol withdrawals are far more deadly than every other form of addiction withdrawals. Society needs to educated out of the "its just weak willpower" stigma, so individuals will seek help in their recovery.
My son started seizures from withdrawal and we were clueless. He ended up in ICU for 6 days. We almost lost him 2-3 times. He was in his mid 30s. He kept the weight off because hes a tennis pro. (Hes been sober for 3+ years, thank God)
You were honest about falling into the same trap you're now naming. Thank you for writing this one — for Joanna, and for anyone reading who's currently being told they look "healthy."
"No one is immune to the desire to anesthetize" is pointed and real. I wish for us, as a culture, that we examined the questions around why someone is called to numb and dissociate and created models of support around that experience.
Even as a sober person, I still recognize these impulses in myself. When I have a lot going on, or consequential decisions weighing on me, I notice myself crushing a six pack of seltzer water. While not inherently dangerous like some of the former ways I coped, there is some part of me calling for care. Learning how to recognize and commune with that part not only impacts my health, but it's also how I am able to participate more fully in the vision of life I have for myself.
“it's also how I am able to participate more fully in the vision of life I have for myself.” Well said; thank you ❤️
Looking great on the outside; dying on the inside. Heartbreaking.
And much more common than most of us realize.
I couldn't stand the inexplicable braggadocio of those old decrepit AA dudes. We're here to stay sober, not brag about how much we used to drink to vulnerable new members who are navigating the awful early days of sobriety.
My heart hurts for her and her family. The only reason I went to rehab was to detox without dying.
There has been a big push in the disability community to get people to recognize that disability isn’t always easily apparent (you might have seems signs saying “disability looks like this” followed by icons of peopel in wheelchairs but also icons of people standing and seeming apparently “healthy” even though they have a dsiability).
It’s a framework I’ve had to stress repeatedly to people who think who think because I am under the age of 40, I am fine, when I still experience issues every day from long covid (relate to having heart palpitations although mine is from too much caffeine now).
Anyway, it could be helpful to apply that framework from the disability community to people experiencing alcohol withdrawal. Thanks for sharing your story and the story of this woman who passed too early, Katie. Very sad.
Thanks, Tara, that’s a useful analogy.
Thanks for this Kate - you describe perfectly the smoke and mirrors we create to hide the truth. Also brilliantly and beautifully described by Caroline Knapp in her memoir Drinking: A Love Story.
I love that book so much!
When an old-timer tells a newcomer that he (it’s always a “he”) spilled more than she drank, she should tell him he could’ve gotten sober sooner if he hadn’t spilled so much.
BINGO
I took my son to rehab/detox many times but quite often in the middle of it all, I would go buy him alcohol because of the risk of withdrawal. You cannot detox from alcohol alone—you need to be medically supervised.
At this time, he is 9 months sober and works in a detox center. He says it reminds him how awful it used to be and does not want to return to it. This story is heartbreaking because she probably thought she could do it on her own.
Actually you can detox on alcohol and people have done it for years but you have to know how to do it and be very careful, something people who are drinking are often not. You definitely need help.
My partner's daughter died from alcohol withdrawal. My heart goes out to this young woman's family.
Oh man, I’m so sorry
During the decades I had an active eating disorder, nurses and other health care providers taking my weight, noting my low blood pressure or hearing my complaints about running injuries would compliment how fit I looked or how “I had nothing to worry about” when I asked not to see my weight.
Ugh that’s so upsetting!
It both infuriated me and hardened my resolve to hold onto my eating disorder. I knew these people couldn’t help me.
I get that 💙
In my experience, a lot of folks can be caught off guard by how quick the DTs can set in. She may have even run out of alcohol on her trip with no way to re-supply.
That’s definitely a possibility. I also wonder if she didn’t know how dangerous the DTs are and thought she might be able to power through them by heading out on an alcohol-free camping trip. Either way, it’s incredibly sad
Thanks for this, Katie. I find it so sad that people want the excitement of outrage while ignoring boring, bitter truth.
Thanks for pointing of the reality that alcohol withdrawals are far more deadly than every other form of addiction withdrawals. Society needs to educated out of the "its just weak willpower" stigma, so individuals will seek help in their recovery.
My son started seizures from withdrawal and we were clueless. He ended up in ICU for 6 days. We almost lost him 2-3 times. He was in his mid 30s. He kept the weight off because hes a tennis pro. (Hes been sober for 3+ years, thank God)
That’s terrifying; I’m so glad he came though 🙏
You were honest about falling into the same trap you're now naming. Thank you for writing this one — for Joanna, and for anyone reading who's currently being told they look "healthy."
Soooooo many reasons why we need emotional soothing from whatever source we can get our hands on.