When I first got together with my (estranged) husband, we worked together, were friends, and drank together. He had a social life that revolved a lot around games, sports, and betting. When we were married, working, and had small children and negligible external help, he spent most of his time after the kids were asleep, and a good part of weekends, on watching sport/selecting bets/ playing.
Any time I complained, he would say " I don't have a problem with X, YOU have a problem with me doing it" / "It is my down time" / "It is how I connect with my friends".
He moved from horse racing to football betting to poker to crypto.
He also regularly undermined my attempts to stop drinking. A new therapist last year pointed out that keeping ne drinking was keeping me more compliant, and less likely to complain about his being chronically on an online poker site (even while watching TV together!).
I left him after 32 yeara together. It has been difficult, but so far (6 months in) I have no regrets .
Addiction wears different costumes, but the underlying character is very similar. And it always lies.
When I first got together with my (estranged) husband, we worked together, were friends, and drank together. He had a social life that revolved a lot around games, sports, and betting. When we were married, working, and had small children and negligible external help, he spent most of his time after the kids were asleep, and a good part of weekends, on watching sport/selecting bets/ playing.
Any time I complained, he would say " I don't have a problem with X, YOU have a problem with me doing it" / "It is my down time" / "It is how I connect with my friends".
He moved from horse racing to football betting to poker to crypto.
He also regularly undermined my attempts to stop drinking. A new therapist last year pointed out that keeping ne drinking was keeping me more compliant, and less likely to complain about his being chronically on an online poker site (even while watching TV together!).
I left him after 32 yeara together. It has been difficult, but so far (6 months in) I have no regrets .
Thank you for sharing; that must have been so hard, but I’m glad you got out