I really like this - both the premise of looking at these depictions on screen/in books (which are often pretty crude, and bug me as a result), but also the nuance with which you’ve unpacked it. Like many important things in life, this stuff is vastly complicated, and deserves far more care than just being a plot point.
I really loved this analysis, and using popular media as a jumping off point, I can’t wait to see what you write next. And it really connected with me as a former lying addict with a rightfully suspicious (now ex-) spouse. I did finally get sober, after putting her through the wringer for some time, but really only after I finally realized that lying and using could only lead to my (and possibly others’) complete destruction - the lie I had been telling myself, that I had to use to survive, was finally punctured, and ONLY then could I be honest. But how can anyone else know that this fundamental shift has occurred? My ex- and I raise children together, and while the marriage didn’t survive the trauma of my using, I am pleased to report that after a number of years of sobriety, she can trust that my children are safe with me. But it did take years, which I was simultaneously sympathetic to and frustrated by… but sobriety taught me to just keep showing up, stay present and not try to force things, and that did work out with time. I appreciate you looking at this from both perspectives, very much.
Wonderful, well-articulated analysis. I agree with it all, Katie, and am grateful for your ability to so clearly explore the issue of honesty (and lack of) in addiction and how an addict feels compelled to lie in order to protect access to her chosen substance. As a 20-year sober alcoholic, I can still remember being so dishonest, so cagey, and so isolated. But with good physical and emotional sobriety, I can say that I now strive to be honest in all of my relationships and actions. As you pointed out, lying is not a permanent character flaw.
I really like this - both the premise of looking at these depictions on screen/in books (which are often pretty crude, and bug me as a result), but also the nuance with which you’ve unpacked it. Like many important things in life, this stuff is vastly complicated, and deserves far more care than just being a plot point.
Thank you!
Always to the point and always a pleasure to read. Thanks.
thank you, Dave!
I really loved this analysis, and using popular media as a jumping off point, I can’t wait to see what you write next. And it really connected with me as a former lying addict with a rightfully suspicious (now ex-) spouse. I did finally get sober, after putting her through the wringer for some time, but really only after I finally realized that lying and using could only lead to my (and possibly others’) complete destruction - the lie I had been telling myself, that I had to use to survive, was finally punctured, and ONLY then could I be honest. But how can anyone else know that this fundamental shift has occurred? My ex- and I raise children together, and while the marriage didn’t survive the trauma of my using, I am pleased to report that after a number of years of sobriety, she can trust that my children are safe with me. But it did take years, which I was simultaneously sympathetic to and frustrated by… but sobriety taught me to just keep showing up, stay present and not try to force things, and that did work out with time. I appreciate you looking at this from both perspectives, very much.
Thank you, and thank you for sharing your experience with this tricky subject. I know too well that internal battle between sympathy and frustration!
This is SUCH an interesting (and clever) way of talking about sobriety! There's so much to unpack here....
Thanks, Hope! <3
Excited for this new series!
Thanks, Tara! <3
Wonderful, well-articulated analysis. I agree with it all, Katie, and am grateful for your ability to so clearly explore the issue of honesty (and lack of) in addiction and how an addict feels compelled to lie in order to protect access to her chosen substance. As a 20-year sober alcoholic, I can still remember being so dishonest, so cagey, and so isolated. But with good physical and emotional sobriety, I can say that I now strive to be honest in all of my relationships and actions. As you pointed out, lying is not a permanent character flaw.
Thank you, and congratulations on 20 years!