That attention thing is a sign too that friends or especially family members don’t want you to be outside of the role they have constructed for you. Whenever I was told I was doing something “for attention” what it really meant was that underneath was a vast emotional, mental, or physical need not being met. I wasn’t doing things for attention, I was doing them for care.
I can relate to this a lot. I stopped drinking four years ago, and have always struggled with using the term "alcoholic" because it felt too extreme, and sometimes felt like if I told someone I was one, that I'd be seeking out a pity party, which is something I really don't want. Am I a problem drinker? Absolutely, no doubt, and that's why I stopped. It was, indeed, a Big Problem. But I know so many people who purport to have "big problems," and it's a different "big problem" every few months or years, and I just don't always believe them. I also tend to think that "real alcoholics" who have been sober are much stronger than I ever was and quitting was much harder for them, so I don't feel right saying that I've fought the same battle.
I can understand why you feel that way, but even among bona fide alcoholics, people have different stories. So I think you should call yourself whatever you feel is the most accurate or comfortable term, without trying to quantify it against others. Just my two cents!
Late on catching up, but had to say another thoughtful response on your part!
It's a damn word. Don't get me pissy on the meanings of words; I do that all the time! But far more important is the meaning behind the words. What you are trying to convey matters most. And your self descriptive words really should only be judged by you.
i hear this from where i sit in my work- identifying a behavior as 'done for attention' can unfortunately dismiss or oversimplify a complex issue like problematic drinking, binge drinking or alcoholism.... I see it as a muliti-dimentional relationship- while recognizing any upper hand alcohol (or any substance) can have in the equation .... I tend to come across a lot of nuance in naming things, it really depends on the person, their process and the context/history of drinking. I also do think women can have a different relationship to drinking compared to men. At least thats what Ive noticed over the years... thank you for this post!
That attention thing is a sign too that friends or especially family members don’t want you to be outside of the role they have constructed for you. Whenever I was told I was doing something “for attention” what it really meant was that underneath was a vast emotional, mental, or physical need not being met. I wasn’t doing things for attention, I was doing them for care.
I have never heard my bottom described so well. And it was 18 years ago ! Xoxoxo
congratulations on 18 years!
I can relate to this a lot. I stopped drinking four years ago, and have always struggled with using the term "alcoholic" because it felt too extreme, and sometimes felt like if I told someone I was one, that I'd be seeking out a pity party, which is something I really don't want. Am I a problem drinker? Absolutely, no doubt, and that's why I stopped. It was, indeed, a Big Problem. But I know so many people who purport to have "big problems," and it's a different "big problem" every few months or years, and I just don't always believe them. I also tend to think that "real alcoholics" who have been sober are much stronger than I ever was and quitting was much harder for them, so I don't feel right saying that I've fought the same battle.
I can understand why you feel that way, but even among bona fide alcoholics, people have different stories. So I think you should call yourself whatever you feel is the most accurate or comfortable term, without trying to quantify it against others. Just my two cents!
This is what I hear often!
Late on catching up, but had to say another thoughtful response on your part!
It's a damn word. Don't get me pissy on the meanings of words; I do that all the time! But far more important is the meaning behind the words. What you are trying to convey matters most. And your self descriptive words really should only be judged by you.
But damn; a Pringles bong? That's hardcore!
just a kid at a hippie summer camp 🏕️
i hear this from where i sit in my work- identifying a behavior as 'done for attention' can unfortunately dismiss or oversimplify a complex issue like problematic drinking, binge drinking or alcoholism.... I see it as a muliti-dimentional relationship- while recognizing any upper hand alcohol (or any substance) can have in the equation .... I tend to come across a lot of nuance in naming things, it really depends on the person, their process and the context/history of drinking. I also do think women can have a different relationship to drinking compared to men. At least thats what Ive noticed over the years... thank you for this post!
it carries about the same social weight and import as "I put the shopping cart back in the corral after I unloaded my groceries".
actual lol!